Touch of Death by Kelly Hashway

Touch of Death - Kelly Hashway

This book is stupid.

That is me sugarcoating it. I mean it. Everything from the plot to the characters is stupid. The one thing that made this a two star read instead of one was that the writing didn't suck. That's everything that's not bad with Touch of Death. Let me explain.

Stupid #1. Jodi.
Our heroine, Jodi, is stupid. For one thing, she managed to piss me off in the very first chapter when she hits a deer with her car, and then thinks this:

I’d never hit an animal before. Well, a snake once, but that didn’t count—who likes snakes anyway?

I don't give a shit about if people like snakes or not, but I like them. When I was younger, my friends had about 40 snake eggs that hatched, and we played with those cute little bastards for hours. So yes, hitting a snake counts. Even if you don't like them, they count as animals, and that means that Jodi had in fact hit an animal before. Moving on, since I suspect this isn't a deal breaker for most people.

She lacks the ability to prioritize and she doesn't know how to act like a normal person. The latter is hard to describe with a single quote, but she's awfully calm when she shouldn't be. She doesn't seem to understand what shock is. She can go from a traumatic event without it affecting her in the least. The prior though, lacking the ability to prioritize:

Things were getting too complicated. Dodging stalkers, keeping secrets from Mom, and I didn’t have a clue what I was going to wear to the club tonight.

Yes, after everything, the most important thing is still what she shall wear to a club so she can see her boyfriend and kiss him. And yes, this is after a stalker has fucking trashed her room. (Later she also believes her stalker will refrain from going into the ladies' room. Because going into the ladies' room is much worse than trashing someone's room.) Yes. Jodi is stupid. Again, I'm sugarcoating it.

Stupid #2. The plot.
The premise is interesting. A group of necromancers are on the edge of a war with Greek God Hades for making dead people come to life again. Jodi doesn't know it, but she's the Chosen One of these necromancers to prevent this war. So when she finds out she must learn to come into her nature with the help of others like her. Unfortunately, this story only works because everyone in this story is stupid. Alex, her stalker – as if it wasn't obvious - is following her to keep an eye on her and to take her back to the place where other necromancers live. In reality, Jodi or someone else would've called the cops on him and thereby take him out of the equation, ergo, the plot falls apart. Second, Jodi is stupid again. Her teacher holds a lecture on mythology and he tells her of her true nature, you know, without saying it to her face. What it means is that half of her blood can make people come to life, and the other half kills. Yet, she doesn't consider it weird that she kills/brings back like four animals and two people in the matter of two days. These are just two examples, and giving more will probably spoil the whole book, but when she arrives to the "home" with Alex, no one has noticed that things are a bit strange. Well, our special snowflake here does. Yet, no one else even questions anything for a second. Screw that. It just proves that most of the people there are stupid as well.

Stupid #3. Fail mythology.
One of my statues updates discussed how the author messed up the mythology. Here's the deal: Jodi was born under the sign of Ophiuchus. This means that she is who she is with her powers. They call themselves Ophis, the necromancers. So, in the first few chapters there's an history lesson about Ophiuchus and how Athena gave him two vitals of Gorgon blood, which leads to the blood in one of his sides can give life, and the other kills (the same ability the Ophi's have). Ophiuchus was also the son of Apollo. However, Apollo never had a son named Ophiuchus. He had a son named Asclepius. He had some misadventures or whatever you want to call it and upset some people. Either way, when he died, Zeus sent his body up in the stars, and thereby creating the constellation Ophiuchus. 

To sum it up:
The constellation = Ophiuchus.
The son of Apollo and the guy with the actual abilities: Asclepius.

So it's fucking stupid that they keep talking about Ophiuchus as a person, when there never was a person namned that.

Stupid #4. The side characters.
We have:
- Bitchy girl who likes Alex the Stalker who cozies up with Jodi. Bitchy girl is underdeveloped and acts stupid. She barely brings anything to the story other than to make Jodi appear more prefect than she already is.
- Jodi's Mother (can't remember her name and won't bother look it up). After she finds out that Jodi has a stalker, she believes it's safer for Jodi to drive alone to school in a car that was recently damaged rather than for Jodi to take the bus where there would be several witnesses. At least I'd find it safer for Jodi to take the bus, because if this dude is out hurt Jodi, I doubt he'll refrain from making her crash her car somewhere on her drive to school.
- Alex, Jodi's stalker/love interest. I won't bother mention the stalker turns into loverboy theme; I think this is self-explanatory. Anyway, apart from that, he too is underdeveloped as if he can't decide what kind of person he is, and the reader doesn't get enough of his character to make a good guess at who he is.
- Jodi's best friend. That she even thinks for one second that, when Jodi doesn't kiss her boyfriend, the only other alternative of who Jodi kissed is her stalker, is stupid.

I could go on, but that would spoil too much, and since there might be someone still interested in reading this, I'll stop here. So yes, it's stupid. That's all I have to say on this: stupid.