Taint by S.L. Jennings

TAINT - S.L. Jennings
They want intimacy just as badly as men do. But to them, intimacy is more than just the physical act of sex. They want to be cherished, yet want a man that will get down and dirty. They want tenderness, but crave to be banged like a $2 hooker. They want a man that’ll go all night but still have the energy to kiss and cuddle and talk about their feelings afterward.

This is the most sexist book I've read this year. Maybe ever. Maybe because for once there is so damn much prejudice against both men and women. And it's shown in every single chapter in this book.

Let me explain. Taint is about a group of high-class married women who are sent to Justice Drake, "life coach". It's to him these high-class husbands send their wives because they, as the synopsis says, can't fuck. This leads to the husbands cheating. So, now these wives must be taught how to fuck, and hence are sent to Justice Drake's place Oasis. 

I can handle this plot (even if the "lessons" are utter bullshit). This is not the part my problem is. I mean, these are not the first relationships that suffer troubles of this kind. The big problem here is that all the blame is put on these women. Yes, it's put so they carry all the blame. Even when the problem comes from the fact that one husband doesn't dare tell his wive what kind of fetishes he has. Even then the blame is put on the woman. Because then it's clear she can't fuck. Do you see how wrong this already is?

Apart from this offensive take of the issue, we have our "hero", Justice Drake. 

Sit there and shut up, honey. One of us is a professional. Now, if I need help making a fucking sandwich or getting red wine out of a linen tablecloth, I’ll ask for your opinion. Otherwise, shut those powder-pink lips and look pretty.

How can I not hate him? He's the biggest jerk I've met in NA so far, without a doubt. All women are liars according to him. Men who doesn't pass out after a woman has sex with him isn't done fucking, he's just done doing you. He also seems to think all guys like the exakt same kind of sex:

“So you know what you have to do, don’t you? You have to be his little dumb twit. You have to be his whore, his groupie. You have to make him feel like he’s on top of the world when he’s with you.”

The best way to describe him is that he views everyone like an animal.And as if sex is the only existing force in the world. Pretty much all men are animals when it comes to their sexual urges; they can't keep them in check. He paints the picture that men are so single minded when it comes to sex. Maybe it's not supposed to read this way, but it comes off like this.

Also, Justice Drake has commitment issues as well as intimacy issues. He doesn't ever mix business with pleasure, because he has at least some moral, which I will return to in a moment. But, then he meets Allison, one of the wives in his project. And, after barely meeting her, he's "transformed":

She’s an angel. My angel with a halo of fire.

Allison is different from all the other women who's ever been in his course. Why? Because she has freckles on her nose that she hasn't bleached or covers up in make-up. Because she has a thing for reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (Thanks for the spoilers, BTW). Because she is tired of discussing handbags and shopping. Because, gasp, she eats regular ice-cream. She's different, because she's a real person.

Due to these things, he's caught in a war with himself about whether or not to be wit her. But, as said, he has issues. And as Allison puts it, he rejects people before they can reject him. Fine, people do this. It doesn't explain why he's such a sexist jerk. I can't remember him feeling guilty for wanting her, but darn, he's feels so guilty when being with a girl that's not Allison, since he's kind of betraying her. Yeah, that's his morals going out the window. At least he now has room for all his double standards. Example: he's against the culture where women are supposed to be skinny aka Hollywood Style, but at the same time he's over the moon proud he's hooked up with an European Swimsuit model. Or how during his "lessons" with these women, he must touch some of them to explain things. But, if anyone's uncomfortable with it they can say stop, but then he can't teach them anything so they'll have to go home to their lousy marriage. Yeah, I'm not cool with that.

Okay, I think my dislike for Justice is called for. However, this is romance, right? Well, the first 60% or so is the whole, want her/can't have her. The chemistry between these characters are non-existing. Maybe because neither acted their age (25 & 27). Allison sounded like a teenager and... Justice sounds like a jerk. Then things happen around the 60% mark, and around the last 10% there's this big plot twist. It didn't bother me, but Allison's reaction did. She starts accusing him of "knowing about her". And I couldn't help but wonder why that mattered. Since the plot twist isn't even about her, and considering that Justice job is to know everything about her in order to "fix" her marriage. 

Honestly, I'm flabbergasted I didn't put this as DNF after the first sexist quote (the second quote in this review). It was made so clearly Justice wouldn't change, and that he was not the only thing sexist about this book. Because I can handle that a character is sexist, but when the whole book is? Nope. Can't do it. So, to end this, let me give you another of Justice standpoints:

That’s all they’re good for—looking pretty. Cooking. Cleaning. Taking care of disgusting, snotty-nosed spawn.

Stepford wives. Trophies. High-class, well-bred prostitutes.