Reading progress update: I've read 28%.

Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian - E.L. James

Reading progress: 1%

Clear, embarrassed eyes meet mine and halt me in my tracks. They are the most extraordinary color, powder blue, and guileless, and for one awful moment, I think she can see right through me and I’m left…exposed.

 

And I had almost forgotten what a terrible writer E.L. James is.

 

 

Reading progress: 2%

 

The first thing Christian does after Ana leaves his office (after the interview) is call Welch to get a background check on Ana. 

 

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Reading progress: 3%

"Have you worked here long?" Of course, I already know the answer. Unlike some people, I do my research.

 

And unlike some people, you end up in jail for stalking.

 

 

Reading progress: 5%

Maybe that's why she and Kavanagh are friends; she's content to be in the background and let Katherine take center stage.
Hmm... a natural submissive.

I believe someone needs to have a discussion with James about how not all submissive have the same personality. That, and the fact that just because you're shy, clumsy and/or awkward, it doesn't mean you're a "natural submissive". 

 

So no, this one doesn't put the BDSM culture/lifestyle in any better (or accurate) light than the original three books.

 

Reading progress: 6%

You guys know about the coffee shop/cyclist accident? The one where a cyclist nearly runs Ana over and Christian "saves" her. Then he goes on saying how she should stay away from him, that he's not good for her, etc.? 

 

Seeing this from Christian's POV is... upsetting. Here's the deal: While they're in the coffee shop, he's determined to make her his submissive. Ready to go all in there. He's set on continuing. Now comes the fun/upsetting part. Because Ana says she is into literature and mentions Brontë, Austen, and Hardy as favorites, Christian immediately assumes she's into romance because all of those books have romantic heroes in them. So, according to Christian, you are what you read. Yup, he judges people based on the books he reads. Therefor, he tells her to stay away. Because of what she reads. 

 

Reading progress: 10%

I have never slept with a woman. I've fucked many, but to wake up beside an alluring young woman is a new and stimulating experience. My cock agrees.

 

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(In all seriousness, his cock is a creature of its own. The one action it is capable of: twitching. So now I'm imaging him walking down the street with a noticeable twitching in his pants.)

 

Reading progress: 13%

For all her maladroitness, she has a beautiful neckline, one that I'd like to kiss from the bottom of her ear right down to her shoulder.

I just love how the writing is so simplistic and then BAM! thesaurus, right there!

 

Reading progress: 28%

But as I stare at the screen, my fingers hovering over the keys, I can't think of what to say.

How could she dismiss me so easily?

Her first fuck.

Get it together, Grey. What are your options? Maybe I should pay her a visit, just to make sure it's not a "no". Maybe I can persuade her otherwise. 

 

I have a few terms Christian needs to research: Rape culture, consent, and how about hell no.

 

 

Some general thoughts:

 

Christian is acting like a serial killer in the making. He becomes obsessed with Ana the moment he sees her. Add in that in the first four or five meetings, he constantly have the urge to mess with her or make her uncomfortable, or play with her. Imagine creepy serial killer that visits their victims for a while before performing the deed. That's Christian. His interest is never genuine, even if James tries to establish that. Which brings us to the next cliché.

 

From the start, Ana is different. Christian thinks that her touching him (which is a huge fucking deal) might not be that bad. This is during their first sexual encounter. He also considers her his after their first time, as well as him being hers. James attempts to make it be more between them than there is (because it's painfully obvious apart from those lame attempts that there is absolutely nothing that would draw these two people to each other).

 

Remember where Ana asks Grey if he's gay? Believe me, you do not what his internal monologue on that one. But it's hilarious, what with his double standards. He's outraged when she asks, but when he realizes she has no boyfriend, he plays with the thought that she might be gay (a thought that continues on for a while). However, when he realizes she doesn't have a boyfriend and is a *gasp* virgin, he makes a U-turn and wonder how in the hell no guy has already banged her.

 

(Sorry for long post, but I think it's easier to bulk it up than do individual status updates, because that would clog your feeds even worse.)