Try Not to Breathe by Jennifer R. Hubbard

Try Not to Breathe - Jennifer R.  Hubbard
I could’ve said I didn’t know, or that I was looking for a way to die, or that I was looking to feel okay again—all of which were true.

How can I not love this one? With all it's depression and helplessness and hopelessness filled with hope? Try Not to Breathe touched me right in the heart. Ryan's emotions describe in their simplicity, yet ever so complex. The people in his surrounding trying to find a way to survive after his suicide attempt. Now, get ready for me blabbering all over the place.

Once somebody’s seen you wiping snot off your face after you’ve crumbled and confessed to a circle of mental patients that you hate yourself for wanting attention you can never have—well, then, you’d rather send him clips of ostriches and walruses than talk about that shit.

This. I relate to this so much. And, I think, many people who's been in close range to depression, suicide, mental illnesses, eating disorder, etc. can relate. Because it's never about one person. It's about that person and everyone in regard to that one. Parents, friends, schoolmates. Anyone who's been close to it. How do you act? What do you say? Is things normal even after the person in question is ruled healthy enough to survive on his/her own?

Try Not to Breathe carefully threads a way through Ryan's living situation when he has returned home to his anxious mother and father. When he meets Nicky, a girl haunted by her father's suicide, they begin a journey toward acceptance. Both toward themselves and to people close to them. As Nicky searches for answers, Ryan tries to figure himself out and how to behave with his parents.

Whatever else I had messed up in my life, I could do that much: stand still. Okay, so I wasn’t setting the bar too high.

This story is simply beautiful and delicate as it deals with such a tough subject as suicide and depression. Everything from Ryan's describing his own state of mind to the town's treatment toward him. All of it. Simply beautiful, and that's something considering the story.

'I don’t know. When things get rough, it kind of flashes through my mind. I haven’t been serious about it for a long time, and I’m nowhere near doing it, but I think about it.'

Sorry for blabbering incoherent praise, but that's the best I can do right now. Highly recommended!